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p oi,co gj hom nao t nho c viet hộ may bai topic nha.dk k?????????

viết dùm cũng được, nếu mình có thời gian. Hihi, tại sao bạn ko tự viết, mình có thể giúp bạn.

uh,hj,the co gj t viet xong c sua ngu phap cho t nha.thanks truoc nha.

I think there are some mistakes you need to know and edit.

Doublemin chewing gum advertisement (I think "advertisement" is more appropriate more than "commercial") effects to people and makes them buy their products. First, when the ad started, you listen ("listen is not used in passive") a beautiful song. The song is very attractive because of the melody which is if only quick but also romantic  (I can understand what your meaning but it will be better if you write that "which is a short English song but romantic"). That is an English song.Maybe you don't understand the meaning of the song but you still love it. Sencond, you can see some people are working in the rain and they are chewing the gum. That is the reason why they do not worry about the rain, I thought they feel fresh. Clearly, the ad makes us think a lot and it really works (Can you tell me the meaning of this sentence? looking forward your answer). Finally, at the end of the commercial, you see a couple in the rain and they look too shy. Then, they chew Doublemin, throw their umbrella away and kiss each other. In my opinion, the advertisement wants to say that when you eat Doublemin you will be more confident. Totally, it is an effective commercial.

OK, that's my opinions about your writing and I don't sure all are correct, but I have an advice for you: You should arrange your ideas, make an outline before writing, avoid translating from Vietnamese to English when writing. In your 1st writing, just write and write, don't stop till your ideas end, at 2nd writing you can find you mistakes and edit them. That's my experiences, I hope you don't angry me and can have a good result thanks to it.

Love

It depend on my brain and I'm not a smart boy

z, quite agree

This is exactly what we describe a hard-working student. To be honest, we all know about that already, but the difficulty  is how we could convert from lazy to hard-working :D. I'm still looking for the answer :D.

this is ideal,this is really so similar to hight school.But at university,it's so hard to do it because you are attracted in manything

I think you should finish our homework and read document( book) regularly. besides, you must search information on the internet which is useful for you.Otherwise, you must disscus many proplems with your friends or teacher to understand carefully. somtimes you should take part in school activities to improve communication skills because It's very important to get good job. let's study more and more.

I think this also depends on what kind of profession you are studying about, for  those relating to technology, construction or something like that, it requires you to make a hard effort in order to obtain the knowledge and prepare well for your future, but for the econimic fielda , students need something more practical, the importance of the knowledge is undeniable but it's not the only one, soft skills are also very important and it plays an equal role  in your future like your knowledge. However, being hard-working is good for everyone :D

in my opinion, to be a good student we should learn very hard, try to use your brain and of couse you must be laborious

that's my ideas!!

I really agree with all your ideas

I agree with you but i have some opinion. It doesn't only denpend on your study but also depend on your personality. A good student should have both of them. You only talk about how will you study but you don't mention about how can you treat other people.

yeah,i agree with "Kien Tuong",your communication with the world is very important,you donot metion about the relation.we should take part in the public action a lots,frindly.Let is ourselves

"haỹ là chính chúng ta" mình viêt thế này đúng hok vậy"let í ourselves

@nguyen thi mai: let be ourselves or be yourself :)

Thanks for your comment!

In your comments, I find down some mistakes in Grammar.

can you write down those mistakes......i think everybody can learn better through you correction :)

Yes. There is no problem.

@nguyen la : your sentence has a mistake

@zaccheus : you first sentence has a mistake

@racroi3010 : there's a mistake in your sentence

@hothimytrang : there's a mistake in your sentence

@zaccheus : your second sentence also has a mistake

what mistake? Can you show me?

Well, well my friend, making mistakes is something inevitable since I'm not a native speaker and still on the way of learning English. But would you mind  pointing out some of them instead of just saying something like  " you made a mistake, you should try to correct it" ( who on the earth knows where I should begin @_@, actually I knew some already ) . Looking forward to your corrections. To be honest , it's quite frustrating seeing you act in such that manner. 

Although I knew that my activity could make you annoyed, I was still writing. Sorry very much!

:)

hothimytrang : "you" should finish "our" homework
                          "must" search information

                          "must" disscuss many proplems

thank you. It's a mistake.

you're welcome!

@Phan Tran Khanh Linh , @Zacheus @hothimytrang : you know. that was not the problem. The problem is that we are here to learn and help to eachother to be better. It is not to try to find out the mistakes to criticize, and I hope that we all will become friends...:)

by the way @ Pham Tran Khanh Linh: i think  it is not suitable in this situation when u used the word "active". " action" will be better. :D

mình thấy có 2 từ bạn viết sai chính tả một chút:)

môn vật lý: physics

kế thừa, thừa hưởng: inherit

hihi

ok, mình sửa rồi. Cảm ơn bạn nhiều. Hihi

:))

sao cười vậy nguyen phuong. What wrong.

câu chuyện của bạn về bố mình hay mà ...........

mà sao... @@. Bạn làm mình rung quá. Có gì ko ổn à.

I enjoyed your article but I think you should create the highlights of your story !

you are so lucky!

 I love my family verry much !!

Lucky guy.

Mình xin góp ý . Ba của bạn rất tuyệt vời. Công việc chăm sóc con cái là một công việc liên tục trong một thời gian rất dài, mình nghĩ bạn nên nhấn mạnh vào điều đó vì thế bạn nên viết  He has been.

Hihi, xin cảm ơn các bạn rất nhiều. 

konochiwa!! Luong Nguyen Kien Tuong
 your writing is quite good. ^^......Now, I understand why am I like your text. You know that you have an oily style...your writing the thread.
:)) last time, you said that you live in the countryside, I have a query! what your school's name you learning?? are you studing at a university in HCM city?
()()...........()()
I felt happy when recived to messages from you again....

Miu 

 Long time no see.

 I am very happy when you continue to read my writting. I am from Tan An city and i am staying my home. Do u know TA city. I am having a holiday and tomorrow i will come back my school. How about u? Could u tell me some information about u. Where are u from? What is your school name? ,ect.

 Waiting for your rely.  

i wish i had a father as you !

Hello Kien Tuong. You have a great fortune, that is your father. I'm unlucky. I wish my father just has some characteries of your father. I always have a bad impression when think about him. Am I not good daughter? But he always puts him as a unsocial man.

Hello Tường! Nice to meet you! I have recently read about your father! You have a great father, and me too!

When I read your writing, I miss my father so much! For me, My father is the best man in the world! He loves his wife and childrens by warm love.

He had taught me how to swim like the way which your father taught you. However, I'm "timid as a rabbit" and when my father pushed me far away from him, I'm very scare and I cried very loud ^^. Therefore, up to now, I haven't know how to swim! hic...>_<

Send Ms. Anh Thư @: I think you should learn the traditional way that's "dragonflies bite your belly button" ! :d :d

Hi guys

My father dead when I was very young, even I could not remember his face. But my mother is really my idol. She was taking care of ne very good, even I'm adult now. She is always besides me, listen to what I want to share, teach me what I should do. I love her very much.

Thanks for sharing, Kien Tuong. I like your topic.

Đinh : You have a great mother! I believe if your father still lives, he will a great father too! Nice to meet you, Đinh! ^^

Tùng Anh: Hic! I'm a shy girl, I'd rather not know how to swim than to dragonflies bite my belly button ! hic >_<

thank you for your story

 I have too that family

I love my family. good happy.

 Mr Dinh. I am sorry about your story. I think i am luckier than you but you still have your mother that is the best thing in your life. You and i should try to take care of our parents. Hihi, nice to meet you.

i really like your story. you're so happy! i love myfather too. i think your father is perfect. my father didn't teach me swim or study but he taught me be man. he has been worked quite hard to raise me. And i khow that he love his family. my father is  a large fortune. and so your father is! :)). ak. I have a query. what mean is word " tought"??? :))

thanks for your topic

Bạn viết bài hay quá

Bài hát hay tặng bạn:

http://mp3.zing.vn/bai-hat/Butterfly-Fly-Away-Miley-Cyrus/ZWZD9I0W.html

you are very lucky!

because you have a wonderful father.

so you must always respect that.

you make me feel to miss my family very much.

thank you very much.

nice to meet you!

Hì, thú thật với hachiko thì mình cũng đang làm bài này nè. Mình đọc bài của bạn thì thấy có nội dung, có sự đầu tư. Tuy nhiên phần ngữ pháp mình thấy ko ổn tí nào. Thực sự mình ko dám nhận xét là đúng hay sai vì nhiều khi bạn sử dụng những cấu trúc mình chưa được học tới. Hi hi, nhưng thôi trên tinh thần học hỏi cho mình góp tí ý kiến.

 - He was very swift...~~> he swam very swift, skillful ( free có nghĩa là gì nhĩ, ko hiểu ý bạn) when he was in water ( when in water ko phải là 1 câu) which made me feel as... his world ( câu này bạn sử dụng cấu trúc gì lạ quá).

 - Đầu câu không bao giờ có chữ "and" bạn ạ. 

 - And I admire him more and more because of his effort and hard-working practice to reach to his dream: setting up new world records of swimming. Câu này mình bó tay: pratice to reach his dream, ko có to reach to... 

 - I feel that inside he has inside him... ~~> câu này mình hiểu ý bạn nhưng cách diễn đạt của bạn giống như từ tiếng Việt dịch sang tiếng Anh vậy á. Mình nghĩ bạn nên khi thế này thì ổn hơn : i think that he has a good strength, patience and passion to achieve his goals.

 Nhìn chung bạn nên sử dụng những cấu trúc đã học rồi hoặc chắc chắn là đúng, khi làm bài thi sử dụng nhiều cấu trúc lạ sẽ có nhiều rũi ro lắm. Chúc bạn thành công. 

dài quá, nhưng rất ý nghĩa. Mình sẽ chép vào điện thoại để khi rảnh rỗi ngồi đọc. Hihi. like nè.

:D

My Hanh rảnh ko vào xem góp ý dùm mình bài vik nè http://www.hellochao.vn/ngu-phap-tieng-anh/my-father-a-person-you-admire/?aid=8f14045fceea127a1~332edd47ea33MU

thanks

:D

Dài đấy. Thử đọc xem sao

hix this writing is too long, i have enought patient to read the whole of it,hi

:D

let me give some opinions (just suggest)

line1 usually went-> used to go (habit in the past)

line3 fist seeing-> first sight, was attracted->attracted

line 5 again went->came back

line 13 any things->anything

line 18: many money -> much money. him->them

line 19: imaging -> image

line 21:they didn't do something that they usually did with me ->they didn't act like when they were with me

line 23: he very pround-> he was very proud (proud is adj)

mình cũng bổ sung một vài ý kiến nhé.

- I decided quickly ( trạng từ thường đứng sau động từ thường hoặc đứng đầu câu)

- " It had a little lovely " sau a little dùng một danh từ( danh từ của lovely là loveliness( thú vị )

-spend hours to watch => spend hours watching his life and feeding him

cấu trúc spend time on sth/ doing sth ( giành thời gian cho cái gì hoặc để làm gì).

-cái câu " I shared all things "  bạn nên sửa lại thành I shared all things with him (chia sẻ cái gì với ai cho câu văn nó hay còn ngữ pháp thì ok)

-câu cuối bạn nên viết ở hiện tại thì hay hơn và sửa who => whom ( chỗ này thay thế cho tân ngữ)

VD: the boy whom I always share everything is my best friend

Mình có sửa sai chỗ nào mọi người cùng góp y nhé. Thanks

Lương Nguyễn Kiến Tường! Konnichiwa!!!^^
I just read your wite and I feel interesting whith your text. You know? the first time I saw your artical I don't want to read because it too long.~^OO^~, (lazy,hehe) But, I try reading and want to know how contents .Then I read..read and read and smile. why am I laught? I don't know, but it seem actracting my feeling. your fish_Dragon Baby and Same it name lovely and "fogerein". I don't know that your story real or not but I ............love love love and love verry much Dragon Baby and Same.
have nice a day
SaYoNaRa....:)))) 

 Dear Miu Truong! 

 You don't know what  makes me feel happy, what makes me insteresting. You know, when i write a story that is i want to share my feeling, thinking. Gramma or vocabulary is very important but it is not the most important. I can fix the mistakes when i make it but i can not write a story if i don't have an inspiration i don't have anything,  no movitation, no story, no mistake. Your comment have given me an inspiration. I will really like that you will continue to comment my stories. May be it will be make me unhappy may be it's so cool but no need to worry because i am not care that mean it is very necessary for me. Thank you very much.

Jacky. 

lương nguyễn viết tường: i has just read your short story. Fist of all, i think it isn't interesting. however, the more i read, the more interresting. your story makes me laugh and be moved to tears. this is a great story.

konnichiwa! Jacky!
what mean " movitation"? I think it is " motivation"........................that right?? ^^ .
ya. your inspiration, your feeling. your fishes. your stories...........I will put it in my memory to one day I smile again, you know?  because................I used to take care of a fish...but...:(( he died as soon as I bring he go home....
^^! I like all animals and I think you too. you like cat??? ^^! let's tell me that.
have nice a day Jack
sayonara
Miu 

Đầu tiên mình muốn nói là cảm ơn các bạn rất nhiều khi chịu bỏ thời gian để đọc những gì mình viết, sửa lỗi cho mình và cho những lời nhận xét chân tình nữa. Mình rất buồn khi còn quá nhiều lỗi như vậy nhưng mình sẽ cố gắng hết mình, sẽ hoàn thiện nhiều hơn nữa. 

 Miu Truong

Thứ 2, mình rất vui khi đọc những bình luận của Miu đó, hihi. Biết tại sao bạn lại lấy biệt danh là Miu rồi. Minh  thì cũng rất thích động vất. Bạn biết không nhà mình nói ra thì như sở thú vậy nhiều loại động vật lắm, tại ở dưới quê mà nên cũng có điều kiện để nuôi. Mình cũng thích mèo lắm, nhà mình bây giờ có 3 4 con gì ấy, tại vì chúng nó kéo ở đâu vào thêm nên mình cũng ko nắm rõ tình hình được nữa, à với lại tại đi học riết cả tuần mới về được có 1 ngày hà. Rất bùn vì chú cá của bạn bị như vậy, nói thật ra mình cũng ko hơn gì đâu, lúc nhỏ mình nuôi cá cũng thất bại rất rất nhiều lần. Mình rất vui nếu được chia sẽ với bạn nhiều hơn.

 À, cuối cùng chúc cả nhà mùa lễ dỗ tổ vui vẻ nhá. 

Cho mình góp ý nha:

- I had a ped which was a cute dog. His name is Lu

- mouse => mice (số nhiều)

- he was very lively because he rushed at me, jumbing up and wagging his tail when someone arrived at my house

- he had prevented a burglar when nobody was at home ( burglar : trộm nhà còn robber là cướp)

- I tried to take care of him ( try+ Ving: thủ làm gì còn try +to V : cố gắng làm gì)

Mọi người góp ý thêm nha

Thanks all.

jumping up chứ

Cảm ơn bạn Nam_pro nhiều lắm. Cái câu he was  very lovely mình thấy ok rồi, ý của bạn cũng hay nhưng nói chung cùng 1 nghĩa chỉ do cách diễn đạt :). Phân Try + ving hay try + to V mình sẽ nghiên cứu kĩ hơn. Các phần khác thì bạn góp ý rất hay, mình sẽ chỉnh sữa lại. 

-lovely bạn viết thành lively mình thấy lạ lạ mà không dám sửa tưởng bạn dùng với nghĩa nào khác.Lần sau check bại cẩn thận nhé để mọi người đọc cho dẽ hiểu. Chúc bạn học giỏi tiếng anh

câu thứ 3 "which I loved it very much"

câu 5 "was bigger" -> were

"he became a member of my family" theo t nên viết là "we regarded him as a member of our fml"

I was very worry -> I worried so much (worry is verb, not adj)

mấy câu cuối t nghĩ b nên dùng từ nối thì sẽ mạch lạc hơn

^^

bạn Nam_pro : lively có nghĩa là sinh động ấy mà.

Bạn Đinh Hà chỉ đúng lắm. Bài của mình nhiều lỗi quá, phải cố gắng hơn thôi. Cám ơn các bạn nhiều.

ok. mình không hiểu ý bạn lắm bởi vì trên đoạn văn bạn là lively lúc bạn comment lại viết là lovely. Chắc bạn viết là lively đúng không

thực ra đọc bài của bạn mình không hiểu ý lắm

I often asked=> I often ask

everyone have=> everyone has

my father gave to me for a prensent=> gave me a present or gave a present to me

the book has many stories such as fairy tale(??? nên kể ra 1 số loại nữa), I can adventure to  magic world.

adventure to do st(liều làm việc gì) mình nghĩ nên dùng từ discover)

nếu dùng danh từ là sự mạo hiểm => can have adventures

2 câu cuối mình đọc không hiểu ý bạn lun.

I love this book as I love him or my family.

......................

chào bạn

mình xin dc góp ý một vài chỗ trong bài của bạn nha

mình nghĩ bạn nên viết là  watching too much TV can have bad effects on students bởi vì ở bên dưới khi triển khai ý bạn nêu ra 3 bad effects mà. uh và enough đứng trước time bởi vì enough đứng trc danh từ và sau tính từ bạn nhé. uh với benefit , từ bạn ghi bị thiếu rồi

Nhìn chung bài bạn viết có ý và cũng tốt đó

chúc bạn luôn vui vẻ và thàh công!

Bạn Bich Le nói đúng, enough time bạn ạ. Hãy tập viết thêm nhiều nhá, rất vui vì được đọc.