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Hi Nga! Your passage has some basic mistakes related to tenses and vocabulary. You should review these carefully, I think.

- "I'm a student just graduated college" --> I've just graduated college. (student)

- "moneys" --> money , "customer" --> customers (phục vụ nhiều khách nên thêm "s")

- "Today coffee shop is too crowded should so tired" --> ... I'm so tirerd.

- "Should I am trying ..." --> Subject + should + bare-inf --> I will try to maintain my current job (cố gắng duy trì công việc hiện tại) and not to affect to my study.

Have a good study!

Cheers,

My name is Nga, I'm a student just graduated college . I'm now working part time at a small coffee shop, I'd prepared some ready serving drinks along with some change moneys for the customers. I've prepaired some nice drinks likely strawberry, tomato and butter juice. It had to throw out a lot but I had done it all really well . Today, it's a very crowded day with a lot of people here in the coffee shop so it should have been such a tired day. I would try my best on prepairing some drinks, it's very interesting . On the next month, I'll take my term of being ready for my next  inter- university examinations. It's should be better for me to be trying all the ways on the presently temporary work that not effecting directly to my learning. I should try my time everyday, I hope it'll  not be very hard with my best effort ...

Hi girl,

I read ur writing and it has a lots of mistake. But the biggest one is " butter juice". I think u mean  " avocado fruit ", right? And u wanna talk about " avocado juice" . If I am a customer in ur shop and when I look at the menu, maybe I will run away asap. ^_^. I hope u can underst.

Good luck to u, girl.